


Happy Seal Sad Seal

by FifteenBadgers



Category: Naruto
Genre: Crack, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-05
Updated: 2020-08-05
Packaged: 2021-03-06 06:07:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 905
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25728706
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FifteenBadgers/pseuds/FifteenBadgers
Summary: A Crack one-shot for Chararii's Into the Depths.
Comments: 2
Kudos: 28





	Happy Seal Sad Seal

**Author's Note:**

  * For [chararii](https://archiveofourown.org/users/chararii/gifts).
  * Inspired by [Into the Depths - on hiatus, updates sporadic](https://archiveofourown.org/works/24707452) by [chararii](https://archiveofourown.org/users/chararii/pseuds/chararii). 



‘Do not think you can rely on this, child.’  
She didn’t bother replying to the turtle, although she did end up letting out a long sigh. Konoha had been a clusterfuck and Mei had...describing it as a mood made her sound like a stroppy teenager, but the thought had passed Sakura’s mind once or twice.  
She had slipped out in the night, when the sky was clear and she felt like she could almost reach out to touch the glittering stars above, if only she was tall enough. Slinked through the shadows, through the brush and trees until she finally came to a secluded beach. A wide headland jutted out into the sea, splitting the beach in two, and Sakura liked to go there to lie down, and think, when she had the rare urge. 

The stars, the sea. The gentle waves, lapping and whispering below, it...helped, in a way. Isobu didn’t like it. Thought she was trying to slip away from Mei, somehow, as though Sakura were capable of it. As though Sakura wasn’t the moon to Mei’s sun, always trailing after her, always wanting to bask in her light. He grumbled again, and Sakura brushed him off just as easily, settling down into a half-nap half-meditation.  
She was startled out of her doze a few hours later, well past midnight, when a loud yelp rang out into the night. She sat up, kunai out, chakra simmering below her skin and read.  
Another sound, although this time it was more…  
‘It is a pack of seals, honking. They are likely playing on the beach.’

Sakura almost dismissed it then but there was a faint twinge on her senses, enough to prompt her into crawling across the headland so she could peer out onto the beach.  
There was a pack of seals there, dozens of them, greys and blacks and browns mingling together. A group had split off from the pack, smaller than the ones lounging, and Sakura realised they were seal pups. The group was wobbling along, chasing…  
Sakura blinked. She blinked again when her sight stayed the same. 

Junji was ahead of the pack of pups, sliding along on his belly, stark naked and with a large fish caught in his mouth. The pups were chasing after him, happily honking and grunting as they tried to reach him. When his slide began to slow down he would rear his front end up and paddle against the sand a few times, like a seal, his legs trailing behind limply. It would take him a few seconds to pick up speed and then away he would go again, sliding along the sand.  
“What the fuck,” Sakura said, standing up. A wave of honks and growls spread through the pack and the seals, as a group, began flopping towards the surf. Junji turned on a dime and began to flop along as well, seal pups trailing behind him. He was honking too now, although it was slightly muffled behind the fish still caught in his jaws. Second later he reached the sea and dove in, face first, disappearing beneath the waves.  
“What the fuck,” she said again. 

\----------

Sakura returned home in a daze and, as she lay in bed, staring up at the ceiling, decided that repressing the memory was the best idea. It worked until, a few days later, she walked into Mei’s office to come face to face with a large, shimmery black seal. Well, face to mask, as someone had taken a lot of tape and haphazardly stuck a very familiar red ANBU mask onto the seal’s...head. The thick whiskers stuck out on either side, quivering slightly, and the seal was big enough that two large, black, soulful eyes peered at her over the top rim of the mask. The animal tried to honk but it came out more as a pathetic, waily grunt, as whoever had taped the mask in place had done so in a way that also kept the seal’s mouth shut.  
“Ah, Sakura,” Mei said in the calm way she normally did when a half-tonne seal wasn’t laid out on her favourite mat.  
“...Mei?” Sakura tried to reply, locked into a long stare with the seal. It really did have very round, sad looking eyes.  
“This is Jijun, the head of our aquatics division.”  
The seal gave another whining-honk.  
“He’s a seal of few words at the moment, but he has a mission to teach you how to handle deep water diving.”  
“...hai.”  
“Huh-oooonnk,” the seal said, flopping to the floor, still peering up at Sakura.  
“Do take care of him. He has a habit of sticking his whiskers where they don’t belong.”  
They were at the beach (the same beach Sakura thought with an absent horror), seal and shinobi, staring at each other still.  
"So...uh. Deep sea diving?"  
"Honk," the seal replied. It leant back, resting it's weight on it's rear end so it could slap it's flippers together repeatedly, a frown visible over the top of it's ANBU mask. There was a small surge of chakra, then; "Hoonk honk."  
The seal's skin shimmered, almost iridescent and looking firmer than earlier,then it flopped back onto the sand with a grunt. It flailed a flipper in Sakura's direction.  
She pointed a finger at herself, slowly, and the seal gave an enthusiastic nod, vigorous enough that the mask slapped up and down onto its face.


End file.
